It is with sincere regret that I write you this letter, and before I go any further, I must also apologize for referring to you as "purple". You're more of an aubergine or cabernet, but I was simply trying to avoid being referred to as a "color snob". I digress. For the last two years you have lived on the entryway and living room walls of 1551, and while it has been a fun two years, I'm afraid it's time for a change. It's nothing personal, you see, you are one of my favorite colors (especially for nail polish and clothing), but you are just too much color for one room.
Try to see things from my perspective: I can't even pick out a pillow, wall art, or furniture without worrying how you're going to react to it. The fact of the matter is you just don't play nicely with others, and quite frankly I'm tired of you always having to be the center of attention. SO, I've decided to replace you. I'm sorry for not giving you more advanced notice, but I know how temperamental you can be, and I didn't want you to inject yourself with lead or anything in a revenge attempt. I hope you're not too upset; if it's any consolation, I'd love to find a pillow or throw the same color as you in remembrance.
If I could offer up any advice, it would be to enjoy your last few days at 1551 because they're numbered. Muahahah.
Sincerely,
Kelly
P.S. If you're interested in seeing your potential replacements I've included a photo. Take care.
No comments:
Post a Comment